Homo Elf Christmas

No Work Turk

The Seven Days remix:

Holy Turk song, Batman!

I am very distraught... someone made a song about Turk before I did!



Stay tuned for the "Turk" remix, coming soon!

I thought this was hilarious!

Office Secretary needs lost cat poster; hilarity ensues.

A recap of a night out to the casino....

A. Met up at hotshots. Drank lots of beer. Well, everyone drank lots of beer except Turk who is way too cheap to buy ANY kind of drink. Rob was supposed to show up, but as usual, he must have been to busy getting the diamond studded dildo up his ass.

B. Got a ride to ATM machine to withdraw money. Suprisingly, Turk DID withdraw money.

C. Get to casino and Lee wouldn't go in. Turk even managed to get everything free for Lee and he STILL would not go in. All I can say is: Giant Cupcake of the year award for Lee.



D. Even though Turk withdrew money, he did not spend one dime. If you withdraw it, spend it! For Turk:



E. Last, but not least, you can always count on Turk talking, and talking, and talking.

If Turk hit on a woman....

This is an artist's rendition of what it would look like if Turk actually hit on a woman.

Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back: The Gay Version

Nick + iPhone = Love

Here it is, irrefutable proof that Nickintosh really does love Apple and Steve Jobs. He is giving Steve a pat on the back while giving the iPhone a thumbs up! God, he might as well just take Jobs to bed and be done with it already.

The small penis club

I am so glad that they have support groups for everything!

Because sometime you may want to know what it feels like to have sex like Turk:

"How to get laid" by Turk

1. Never talk to a woman, wait for her to come talk to you. Also, make sure you never make eye contact with her or even look at her for that matter.

2. When the server at the restaurant comes over and asks what you and your date would like, you ask "What is free?".

3. Bring your date to your place for movies; on your stolen cable.

4. Ask your date for gas money.

5. Tell your date how you are a sexual master, and you learned everything you know from the strippers at Roxy's when you were a bouncer there.

EBP - Evil Black Pistol or Evil Black Penis

Well, do you? LMAO!

Talk about "Butthurt"

I bet these two can't WAIT to get home for the night...

To boldly go where no TURK has gone to avoid work before:

I always knew Turk and Lee liked the dark meat...

I bet this is Turk and Lee's dream come true:



I bet they both hoped that Obama and the Dems would pass the health care bill so they could get some free healthcare to take care of their HIV.

Turk: Sequence Duece

It has been awhile so I posted, so I had to post something so I could stay "cool".


Or should I say, taking it in the duece hole? Turk and Enrique really have some crazy nights! I bet Buddy L, Rufus and the dogs even join in from time to time.